janea09's Journal

11:34AM

It was fabulous seeing everybody that came to Louisville last night!

I had a lot of fun....hope you did to :)

It was super cool watching Kitty's sass, and listening to Ms. Jo's beautiful vocals! Hope to see y'all soon.

Jess-have fun in Canada :)

Current mood: content

Current music: The Jealous Girlfriends

6:42PM - What a frickin day!

Soooo.....I'm moving soon, like this weekend soon......and the place still needs some work (and SOME work is putting it nicely). I woke up at 9 this morning and headed on over to the new place to paint. My roomy to be (Jessica) said that she was going to breakfast with her sister and would call me when she was done to come over and help. She calls me at about 1:00, she's had a really bad day proceeds to vent, then my phone dies. I take a break, and go back to my place shortly there after and call her back. She doesn't answer--and doesn't call me back. My landlord to be said that he will be in and out of the place all day---the only time I saw him today was when he unlocked the door for me. It is now 5:30, and I'm just getting home.

I'm pissed!

I'm pissed that my landlord hasn't bought more paint, I had to go and purchase the paint for my bedroom today myself (which the agreement was he would buy all of our paint)......and I have put more work into that apartment lately than he has.....and I'M DOING HIM A FAVOR BY PAINTING!

I'm also pissed that Jessica didn't even bother to call me back when it is her apartment as well! I understand that she's had a bad day, she doesnt' have a car, and has to work a lot this week.....but I'm fucking busting my ass to make sure all of this stuff gets done by the time we move in, and I'm the only one doing it.

Basically I need everything to speed up. I'm a very impatient person, you tell me that you'll have something done then don't do it, that really pisses me off! The apartment should have been more together by now....and I'm moving in Sunday.

I'm just venting, because I'm pissed......and I've had a fucking migraine for the past 4 or 5 days.......I hope your day was better than mine :)

Current mood: bitchy

6:16PM - Why not advertise this........?

Purchasing anything wool and you get........a siberian husky that was stomped on then skinned alive. Being completely conscious of what is going on.

Why not advertise hotdogs as, EVERYTHING left from the pig, their hooves, their gentialia, their tails, their noses.....etc.

Why not tell them the suffering that the chickens go through? In a natural habitat they can live 10-15 years, yet we inject chemicals into them which makes them larger faster, then kill them WHILE STILL BEING ALIVE--they're average lifespan is TWO MONTHS! First we dip them into scalding hot water to save their feathers, then cut their throats. Throughout their short lived lives, they live in cages with barely enough room to lift one wing.

A mother cow is seperated from her calf immediately. The mother is a milk machine, and the calf will be turned into a nice veal patty.

If you must eat meat, which most everyone I know does........BUY ORGANIC! Purchase free range eggs without chemicals, they're more expensive but the piece of mind is worth it. Visit your local Health Foods, healthier and more humane alternatives are out there!

Sorry kids, I've been spending way too much time at www.peta.org.

2:48AM - She sounds adorable sleepy....and more so when she's sleepy and sick.

Sometimes I want more from her, the distance can be unbearable.......then I get annoyed when we talk too much on the phone when neither one of us has anything to say, we're just listening to each other's breaths searching for something to talk about. But overall........I adore her, and I love her very much. I have had endless patience with her, in which normally patience isn't one of my existing characteristics. I lay it out for her, what I want, how I feel, how I want her to react to me, this would be one of the first relationships that I have had where I have been completely honest. and where I haven't felt like I was "high maintenance". It's nice. She is good, good for me, good to me, and I am good to her...........I am however still afraid of committment......just a little.......that will pass, and is in the process of passing.

I can't help but feel alone sometimes, change is the only thing that is constant.......but something that I fear very much. People change. Those who you used to talk to, and felt very close to, you no longer do. This used to bother me a lot, but now, I just deal with it. You really have no other choice. Distance takes place, relationships take place in which you merge into one, when in the beginning you were two, colliding schedules get in the way, there are many factors for many different reasons why people drift from one another--it doesnt' get any easier, it just grows on you.

The small talk gets annoying, having to catch up every month or so on how the other is doing. Does anyone really care that much anymore? I have several acquaintances, but very few good friends. I know most of the people at the bars, but that's not satisifying.....that holds no substance. It's fun, but those aren't the people that I would call if I was having a bad day--far from it really.

These are my thoughts for now, and there are several people that I miss, and maybe I will be calling you soon.

12:35PM - Fabulous......a Monday.......and a Rainy at that!

Just got out of my tedious drawing class....and now I'm back in my sleeper pants. Today was tedious because we went to see a guest speaker talking about paper for about an hour. Then we did gestures for the rest of the time. Love drawing, HATE gesture drawing!

Anyway--time to pity myself and my lack of self guidance......and yeah.

So last night Liz Allison and myself were having a beer. And we were talking about me and what I wanted to do when I graduate. Honestly, I've been in college for four fucking years, and still don't know what my career choice is going to be.

My major, is art. I love art. At the same time job security is a concern of mine. So, I'm thinking about taking other avenues with my art. But I get so discouraged a lot of the time, because I really do feel that I should have already graduated. I mean it's been four years! Four years! Everyone works at different paces....and blah blah blah, I get all that. I'm just pissed off at myself because I'm not where I want to be......but at the same time I don't really know where I want to be.

This leads into a cycle. I feel like I'm wasting my time. I just wish something would hit me........fate perhaps........help to clear things up for me. A sign maybe, obviously I am REALLY bad at the whole decision making process. I second guess everything, I just want someone to tell me what to do sometimes.

I am definetly a person that works well with structure.......well, in order for me to function and accomplish anything I HAVE to have structure. I HATE THAT about myself.

I feel like I'm in a rut. I can't wait to move. Usually can't stay in one place too long. Maybe that will help. I thought me not working would also help me to focus......but that has just made me lazier and more un-motivated. Hmph. Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe there's a support group out there for people that lack motivation and procrastinate......then again, I'd probably forget to go. Ha! I feel like I'm just floating-and I don't want to do that.

I want to be inspired.

Anyway, this is what's going on in my head.

Ya'll have a great Monday!

9:12AM - St. James Art Fair is HERE!

So, yeah, St. James is here.

For those of you that don't know, it's a huge art fair. Artists from around the country travel to Louisville for the weekend. Then you have the "un fair" which is where all local artists set up their booths. It's really exciting, if you get a chance.......I would for sure come to Louisville. It'll be going on ALL weekend!

And the cool part is, MY parking spot is going for ten dollars! Heh! (That's random I know, but I'm amused).

6:37AM - Damn it's early.........HAPPY MONDAY!

So guess who woke up at 3:30 this morning..........yep you guessed it ME! I had a bad dream, got scared, so I had to wake up and watch a funny movie. This wasn't the kind of dream that you can just talk yourself into going back to sleep....yeah. This was the kind of dream where you had to crawl out of bed and turn ALL the lights on!

I have scary dreams atleast once bi-monthly. It just depends. I think the part that scares me is that they're realistic, and I can actually make out faces. Where in most dreams the faces are a blur.....even if I know the person in my dream. It's funny how the mind works.

So I've been studying my french, and actually making a lot of progress. I have a test at 8 am today. I hate Mondays......and having tests on Mondays just re-affirms my beliefs on WHY I Hate Mondays.

I made myself some coffee, I had to sort through the dirty dishes in order to actually get to the faucet.......gosh I'm so lazy....and busy! How does that exactly work? I don't know it sounds good though.

And my desk is completely un-organized! I've been working on this research paper for Anthropology which I need help on. I've never had to write an annotated bibliography....they don't make you do that in art class. OY!

MY SHOUTOUTS-Jess, thank you for letting us stay with you.....as always it was a pleasure seeing you. If you need anything pick up the phone dag on it! And Lindsay actually talked.......she liked ya! That made me happy!

Hanna-It was good seeing you for a HOT minute.......thanx for sporting the braids that made my night!

EVERYONE: Have a great Monday....be productive!

11:02AM - HEY KIDS!!!!

So here pretty soon I will be unemployed, this weekend in fact! I could not be more excited, now I just have to watch what I spend. I got tired of serving, everytime I went in I was a little more angry and bitter towards humanity. I would often find myself in really bad moods for no reason and would lash out at the nearest person to me. I really have become somewhat of a bitch.......well maybe more of a bitch since I've been working there.......I am still nice though I just feel mean a lot of the time.

Anyway, so that is good. School is going great, French so far is kicking my ass.....but now I'll have more time to study! Oh yeah, and I'm taking this 3-D design class which is a complete waste of time. For almost a month now we've been working on the same project which we should have been working on it for only a week! So I'm bored and I leave that class early all the time! It's a waste of my money. I'm growing my hair out, it's now almost to my shoulders......and it's a very frustrating process! I think about cutting it almost everyday.

I'm still with my Taurus (Lindsay) we've been together for a little over three months now. I am soooooooo glad that it is a long distance relationship! Having her here for a weekend, I get a little aggravated and I miss my alone time, I'm definetly not ready to live with another girlfriend at this point in time, which is good because it's not even an option. She's going back to school in Janurary to get her masters. I realize that I have become so set in my ways, and doing things when I want to do them.....and I'm not ready to give that up yet. I mean eventually I will when the time comes, but not yet......not anytime soon.

So there is my update :) Hopefully ya'll are doing well! I'll be coming up to Pride Night at Kings Island.....it would be awesome to see ya'll!

Current mood: content

Current music: David Gray

12:19PM

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl

You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out. Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it!

9:48AM

You are a Pisces, the kindest sign of the zodiac.

You are sympathetic, sensitive,

impressionable, compassionate, forgiving,

imaginative, a dreamer, romantic, tolerant,

and funny. Of all the animals in the world

you are most like two fish, you swim in the

watery depths of feeling and knowledge. And

about those TWO fish, you have two choises in

how to live your life

1)you can try to swim upstream(which is the harder

way but life is full of challenges, plus the

rewards are much sweeter)

or 2) you can just "float" along the

bottem of the river(which is when you take

the EASY way, which has more, can i say,

BORING! results.


-your colors are pale green and tuquoise, the color

and light of the sea in which you dwell


-your metal is platinum


-your precious stone is aquamarine(imagine that,

aqua AND marine)


-your day of the week is friday


-the part of the body that you rule is you feet,

weird isn't is,i mean, seeing as you're a

FISH!!


-your element is, wait for it...., WATER *me:wow

didn't see that one comming*


-the platet that you are ruled by is neptune, named

after the greek god Posiden(AKA Neptune).

Posiden is the god of all things water.


-your true love comes form a cancer, taurus, virgo,

or your own pisces


[R][E][D][O][N][E] What is Your TRUE Astrology Sign? (for guys and girls with incredibly detailed answers and incredible pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

11:58AM

7:39AM - So apparently.........I'm goth.

You are a.. GOTH! You're sick of the wannabe freaks

ruining the scene and making your angst seem

superficial. You thrive on the darker aspects

of life, have an interest in classic

literature and poetry, and probably get a

kick out of Halloween. ("No.. that's not

a costume, dammit!")


The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

8:55PM

Your Eyes Should Be Violet

Your eyes reflect: Mystery and allure What's hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion

11:03PM

2:10PM

You Are A: Pony!

Who doesn't love a pony? You are one of these miniature horses, renown for your beauty and desired by many. Full of grace, you are a beautiful and very special animal, full of strength and majesty.

You were almost a: Frog or a Bunny
You are least like a: Monkey or a TurtleThe Cute Animals Quiz

10:11PM - funny

9:07PM

You're a very mellow, care-free person. Your
exactly what calm, cool, and collected mean.
You never overreact or panic in a bad situation
and you always know what to do. Everyone goes
to you for advice because you never lose your
head so your very reliable. You tend to take
everything in stride, like in school your moto
is just sit back and relax not to say you dont
pay attention and work, but you dont overexert
yourself. Even though people come to you for
counciling(sp?) you can still be very quite,
your not good with making new friends, but your
extremely close to the ones you have. Remember
its ok to put your emotions out there even
though there is a chance they might get hurt.
Also in school sometimes its good to stress out
a little, just because you think you dont need
to study doesnt mean you should'nt, and also
try to push yourself more even though you might
be good where you are doesnt mean you can,t be
better. Check out my new short story.


Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

11:01PM

10:56PM

href="http://home.att.net/~slugbutter/evil/" target="new">How evil are you?</a></center>

10:54PM

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.